10 Reasons Why Mario Is Secretly a Bad Guy

Mario is an inspirational hero to millions of gamers. At least, that’s what Nintendo would have you believe!

Secretly, Mario is just as much a villain as Bowser. You just have to know what to look for.

Here are a few of the reasons why Mario is secretly a bad guy, both in the games and in the real world.

1. Mario has an obvious drug problem

Mario is basically a walking advertisement for drugs. He eats mushrooms to get bigger, and he consumes flowers to shoot fireballs from his hands. And he chomps down leaves to become a furry icon raccoon man.

If video games really do influence young children, then Mario has likely convinced generations of children that drugs are the answer to all their problems (even if those problems are a giant invading turtle dictator).

Mario is basically the Don Juan of the Mushroom Kingdom.

2. Mario cheats on Princess Peach

If you ask someone who Mario’s love interest is, they will likely answer “Princess Peach.” After all, she has been in the majority of Mario games and is the iconic princess who was always “in another castle” in the original Super Mario Bros.

However, Mario secretly likes to get around. He was rescuing Daisy in the Super Mario Land games and even saving Pauline in the original Donkey Kong. It’s no wonder Mario discovered warp zones: because he was getting around so much!

3. Mario is an animal abuser

Yoshi is a beloved Mario character. He is basically a cross between a dog and a horse, helping to transport Mario across many exotic destinations. Unfortunately, Mario abuses Yoshi, and all of us helped him do it!

In Super Mario World, Yoshi can capture enemies with his tongue. When he does so, Mario moves his fist forward and Yoshi winces. Game developers Takashi Tekuza and Shigefuni Hino confirmed the unthinkable: Mario is hitting Yoshi every time! Someone call Peta.

4. Mario supports slavery

Mario’s animal abuse didn’t start with Yoshi. It actually started with Donkey Kong! In the first Kong game, Mario fights to save Pauline and kill Donkey Kong. And in Donkey Kong, Jr., we see Mario has actually enslaved Donkey Kong.

This didn’t seem as weird back in the ’80s. But thanks to games like Donkey Kong Country, we know that Donkey Kong is a thinking, feeling, and intelligent creature. Throwing him in a cage proves that Mario has no problem at all being a slaver! Still think Mario isn’t a bad guy?